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HALF-LIFE 2

• still can;'t get over how tonally at odds this all is with HL1. imagine waking up from a nap to find everyone under the sun gaslighting you into thinking they're your best bud. the only thing worse would be waking up from a nap with a goatee. does anyone believe quirkbot alyx would be batting her eyelashes at Geek Fuck Player Insert gordon freebird. tech freak libertarians did, apparently, resulting in perhaps the most fantastical element of the Half-Life Franchise

• bouncing on seesaws, stacking boxes, and rolling barrels have been shown to help develop infant neuroplasticity, but I'm not sure why they're in this Shooting Campaign. Ah yes... Physics... just what I give a shit about. unless you're using this stuff to improve the way I three point corpses into dumpsters I simply don't care, which means Invisible War had this beat back in 2003

• most of the blasty bits feel perfunctory even when they're given spotlight, as if everyone involved was more interested in rat trap explosives and fussy scripting than the parts where you're in an arena going ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk. of course, this is because they were, and it shows with how seldom enemies are allowed to roam unmuzzled. so many of these encounters are built around rigid, signposted interactions with environmental objects in order to prompt a specific outcome rather than dynamically satisfying shooting; all line reads and stage directions inside a thousand tiny cubicles

• in general, having everything atomized into discrete little ultra-playtested content bubbles means nothing exists in the past or the future, only the present. it's a sort of hyperdirection that excludes meaningful continuity, consequence, or decision making by ensuring scenarios are completely guided, self-sufficient, and independent from one another with minimal bleedthru. it's all very clever and clearly in line with its goals, it's just a shame that those goals are singlemindedly aimed at overengineering an elaborate theme park -- haunted house & waterpark included with day pass(!)

• unskippable prison cell exposition remains dreadful

• used to think the boat was "Fine" back when I was "Screwed In The Head". it's definitely not, but when you're done you get the prettiest skybox and it's almost enough to make it seem worth it. to me this is the essence of the Half-Life 2 experience: dozens of tiny ephemeral moments of beauty or wonder surrounded by a minefield of cutesy tech demo contrivances. were this a walking sim I think I could go as high as four whole stars

• Highway 17 & the start of Sandtraps are so good they almost make me want to finish the game. finally these encounters can develop a real sense of space and motion and build toward a series of fluid, organic setpiece climaxes. this is a window into what this game could've been if it had any desire to be a First Person Shooter. all goes out the window once you get to the slew of minigames that follows, but I usually like to see at least a little nova prospekt before the inevitable Exit To Desktop & Uninstall (this time I quit after squishing the antball a few times, however)

• not sure whether HL2 precedes or succeeds the stone faced self-mythologizing the series currently carries like a millstone, but it's real goofy. Mine Muse Waneth. Only The Purest Touch Of Her Lady Innovation May Enable Mine Third Great Work. yeah ok, relax buddy. if an "obligation to gamers" took root in my diseased brain I'd be looking for the nearest powertool to excise it. make the game or don't. you're not a tortured artist, you're an aging billionaire

• soundtrack is fantastic and much of the environment & architecture looks Quite Good, obviously