...

GEARS OF WAR

this is so boring, which is the last thing you should be able to say about a game where you're a hulking beefcake american footballing into even uglier beefcakes, hollering macho quips, and lancing thru high definition bugmeat. the rifles are so limp they need to Ask Their Doctor. the gimmick stages feel like someone gave half life 2 truck nuts. hit reactions? more like shit reactions

I'm starting to disassociate any time an "e-hole" or turret segment pops up. I'm floating on the ceiling watching myself wonder how I ever thought this flavourless whac-a-mole sludge was a good time. my body is revolting against the nauseating fov, motion blur, and shaky cam, and I deserve it. it's my own fault

I'm gonna go lay down now. wake me up when someone puts cliffy b in the sharpshooter til he shits his pants